Success is something you should get to define for yourself

Finding meaning in living a simple life - redefining what it means to succeed

People are often shamed for not being successful, especially if they succeed at something at first and things turn bad soon after. Suddenly, it’s as if none of their previous achievements mattered, as if they never learned something new, as if they never tried.

Success is often only seen as true accomplishment if it lasts for a lifetime, and that means decades of things continuously working out well. When we think about how many years one person can live for, it puts into perspective how expectations for long-term success can be incredibly high, and if those are not achieved, then people are considered failures. Or worse, if people don’t achieve success fast enough, while they are still young, they are still considered a failure, when these things usually take a long time, as if people expect a forest grow in one day. It can take years for someone to reach their goals, and so often there are circumstances that keep people from achieving their dreams.

Beside societal shaming, the person struggling with failing often deals a lot of undeserved guilt, considering so much is out of control in life.

This is a reminder to anyone feeling like they are failing, who is scared of how they will be perceived because they don’t have high ambitions in life and just want to live a peaceful, simple, and stable life, even when achieving that already seems so hard in the current moment. Maybe it is time we redefine success, ambition, and demystify laziness. I hope these words might help you find some comfort.

You do not have to be the best at everything. You do not have to succeed in the long term at anything so you won’t be considered a failure. It is okay if it takes time for you to learn a craft or if learning something is impossible to you no matter how hard you try at it. It’s okay if you don’t have the ambition to be a CEO. You are not a failure if you can’t work because of disability or work less than others because of it. It doesn’t make you lazy. It’s okay if you want to just exist, to just be you.

It is hard enough to just be alive right now, and things haven’t been easy for most people, and if whatever you’re struggling with, be it illness, or grief, or loss, or fear, or if you’re feeling lost or if life has been really unstable for you. It still counts as struggling even if others “have it worse”. Thinking like that will only make it harder to cope with whatever it is you are going through because it is so invalidating, and it makes it seem that you are weaker than others for having a hard time, that you shouldn’t be having problems to begin with, when things are never really that simple.

You are not lazy or a failure if you just want to leave a quiet, peaceful life, if you just want to exist in your own way and figure out as you go.

You’re neither an inferior human being nor that different from most people for struggling with finding your own path when it comes to your career, your academic life, your relationships, or for rejecting the high expectations of long-term success and longing for a calm, stable life instead.

Everyone is just trying, just winging it, making the most of what they can, even when things aren’t working perfectly, even if they don’t want to admit that they don’t always have everything figured out. You’re not alone, and even the people you are close who seem to have everything together might not see themselves how you see them. Life is not always as easy as we wish or as others make it seem.

And yet, here you are, and maybe you are wishing things could be different, but you are alive on this earth only for a moment and you have the right to live your life in a way that makes you comfortable, you should get to choose the lifestyle that suits you best.

I hope you can find a way out of your problems and find yourself living the peaceful existence you are craving. It’s not up to anyone else to decide if that means you are successful or a great person and it’s not your obligation to make everyone you ever met proud of you. And I want you to know that if you are choosing what makes you truly happy, wherever you are, that I am proud of you. You are braver than you think, and you deserve to be content.

I am wishing that these heavy clouds clear up in the future, and that you find yourself under shining skies and blooming in your own way.