Dealing with the fear of being imperfect and being publicly judged

Sometimes you just have to show up the way you are, instead of avoiding doing things because you want to wait until you feel “good enough” or perfect or great. You can only learn by showing up and making mistakes. Most people are not judging you as harshly as you are judging yourself and most of them aren’t expecting perfection and if they are, it’s their problem for having unrealistic standards.

It’s not a moral failure to be imperfect, to make mistakes and try to learn from them, to not get things right on the first try.

Everyone is a little bit messy, a little bit lonely, a little bit worried about how they will be perceived, just like you. It’s more probable that other people are focusing on their own problems than they are focusing on your imperfections. They are probably more worried about how they are being perceived than they are about them perceiving any of the flaws you feel ashamed of.

Show up as you are, and if at first it feels awkward, keep going (at your own pace), until you start to feel less worried of being perceived by others. It gets easier the more you try. And if you are trying to do this, I hope you know how brave you are.

I feel self-conscious a lot in my body, in the way I act, in the being disabled and constantly having to take more care of my body than others because it gets injured easily. But on a recent trip, I had to use certain medical devices (so many wires hanging on my back!) to help with pain, and a knee stabilizer for several occasions, so that walking wouldn’t be as painful.

And showing up as I was (in pain, needing to take things slow, being disabled by chronic illness) did not make me feel more insecure. In the contrary, no one asked questions, no one really paid that much attention and it made me feel confident that I can show up as I am and that things will be fine. It made me more confident and more comfortable with existing in public with my chronic problems.

It felt like a relief, and I could enjoy the little time to swim at the beach in my short vacation, instead of losing time wondering if others would be judging me.

Showing up as yourself is worth it, and you deserve it.