Finding stable relationships in an increasingly unstable world
Everyone has inside them a world of their own - we all know that. Even if someone seems to be a superficial person, they are probably more nuanced than they seem, they have deeper thoughts than they express. Every one of us has dealt with loss and even if they never have, one day they will. It is inevitable: grief comes in many ways other than death, and we’re all suffering for the loss of something or someone, or even losing ourselves, losing our purpose, our dreams, our health, our stability. In a world that feels more and more polarized, remember to be kind to others and to be kind to yourself, everyone carries a great deal of suffering inside them.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of making everyone an enemy when they have a different political opinion that is filled with hatred directed at you or those you love. But it doesn’t mean that everyone you meet believes in that ideology. There are still good people in the world, and you won’t get to know them and have them as friends and partners and allies in you community if you immediately treat everyone with suspicion, with harshness, as if your suffering gives you permission to lash out at strangers or acquaintances.
I know you’re hurting. I know you are scared. I know life feels unstable to you and the future is unpredictable. But most people feel that way too, and they also feel lonely. They are seeking community, connection with people who they feel safe around, just as you are. Not everyone you meet will be a good fit in your life, you don’t have to get along with people who are openly hostile to you, and hopefully you will be safe enough so you don’t have to constantly walk on eggshells near those who despise you..
Even when the world seems too harsh, try not assume everyone you meet will be just as hostile. Don’t treat people with unkindness and disrespect based on first impressions, before you can actually know who they are, and try not to do so especially during small interactions with strangers you will never see again, save yourself the energy. A kind word can help people during a hard day. Everyone is struggling, just as you, don’t assume you won’t find your own community even when the world seems to be filled with conflict fueled by hatred.
You are not alone as you think. And maybe what is hindering you in making connections is that living in a hostile environment made you suspicious and afraid of being vulnerable. But if you treat everyone you meet with suspicion and unkindness, then they won’t feel comfortable to show their true selves to you. It’s not time to fight with those who you can connect you, who could become part of your community.
It’s time to do what’s necessary to create community to support each other during tough times.
And to find like-minded people, you must take the first step and let your guard down a little. Don’t be so afraid that you become bitter and treat others in a harsh way, hurting them before they get the chance to hurt you. A lot of people are still friendly, even if those whose hatred burns inside their souls have the loudest voices. Not everyone agrees with their violent rhetoric. There are still good people out there. But you must go out to find them, to let your guard down a little, to be your authentic self so others feel comfortable being themselves too, and to build community takes time and effort, but it is worth it. Humanity is worth so much more than all this violence. And so are you: violence won’t be a constant throughout your life.
And if you feel unsafe in your environment, I hope you can find a new place for you soon, a place where you feel more accepted, more comfortable, more stable. There are places and people like that, still. But you must go on and stay alive to find them. You must keep fighting for yourself, to be a voice of kindness, gentleness, wisdom, and love in a world where those with power are trying to convince you that there is no place for you in it, using hate speech, violence, ignorance and fear tactics to create panic.
A better world is still possible, and you deserve to be in it. Don’t let their anger turn you away from building relationships, don’t let their hate make you feel like there is no place for you to be yourself. The world is a huge place, and you will find your way through it, and you will find your place in it, but you must stay alive to do so. This world is better with you in it.