You have just been diagnosed with a chronic illness. What now?
How to find self-acceptance when you are dealing with a new-found chronic illness
To some people, illness is not a momentary thing, it lasts for the rest of their life. It won’t get better, no matter how hard people think they should try. They will have tried every treatment possible, but sometimes, illness is chronic, meaning it won’t go away even if someone is young, even if they “look fine”.
It’s better to believe that someone knows their own health, their own diagnosis, their own pain, because it is not motivational to tell anyone they are lazy and that they should just push themselves more. Usually, people will chronic illnesses are already pushing themselves to be able to do things that might seem simple to others.
If you’re only now discovering that you have a chronic illness and you’re feeling exhausted and debilitated, I am sorry this is happening. It can be extremely overwhelming and exhausting going from doctor to doctor, trying to understand what is happening and why it is happening.
I hope you’re able to accept yourself even when you’re sick, because your worth does not decrease when you’re not as productive as a capitalist society thinks you should be. You’re not as alone as you might think you are, and I hope you don’t feel you should isolate, as being ill can be isolating by itself.
People will still like you if you’re chronically ill and can’t make it to social events when you’re unwell. I’m sorry if some people simply don’t understand, but you don’t have to prove to them what you have been dealing with when it comes to your health.
If it’s possible, let go of trying to please people who are ableist towards you and focus on those who aren’t. I promise not everyone will treat you poorly for being sick. And I hope you remember that being different doesn’t make you an outsider, or inferior to anyone else. You don’t have to push yourself so much, because being chronically ill is already so draining. And I hope you know that there can still be happiness in your life even when you’re sick.
Accepting yourself doesn’t mean accepting that you will be miserable for all your life, it means recognizing that you have an illness, that it is a tough thing that you need to deal with, and that you are still worthy of good things because being sick and fatigued is a morally neutral thing.
You are not doing anything wrong when you have different needs and need accommodation and a lot of rest. It doesn’t make you lazy. It doesn’t mean you’re defeated. It means you are letting your body be, without pressuring it too much when it is already going through a lot with illness.
It is possible to find joy while being sick. It is possible to meet new people who will understand you. It is possible to find medication that helps lessen some of the symptoms. It is possible for you to still find love, to be given love by others and to realize you can still love yourself even when you’re not perfect.
You’re already being brave dealing with all of this, and it can feel extremely overwhelming and lonely to be going through an illness, so don’t deny yourself any joy, because it doesn’t have to be earned by performing perfectly, or being the most productive you can be. You can let yourself be, let your body be, and find some peace of mind in making yourself as comfortable as possible while living with an illness, without guilt.